1994 - Three affairs already I had suspicions only...
1995 - A sexual encounter with someone at a church camp makes it four...
1997 - Two more affairs (now six), one when the twins were 3 months old (culminating in a sexual encounter on the eve of the babies "Dedication") and our eldest not yet 2 years, with a married cell member that was exposed by her husband. C was called in by the Church Leadership as he was a worship leader and "disciplined". I was devastated, it took me five years to totally heal and gain my trust back.
The other six months later after we had publicly renewed our vows, I was oblivious and he was leading worship again...
1998 - Now seven under the belt!
2004 - One more that I blew open (now 8). At this point in time I was only aware of four affairs in total and once again choose to reconcile and give him another chance. He gave me a new ring as a symbol of his commitment...
2007 - Three more during the course of this year (now 11), one was a long term affair that lasted the entire year. I had no inkling but was suspicious of the "friendship". It is also the year that we moved to Stutterheim & our eldest turned 13. This pic was taken at his birthday party where C blessed and validated him as a young man. He ironically gave him a ring to remind him to stay sexually pure...
2011 - Two more affairs. One for 3 years (started in 2008), the other for 8 months (started in 2011). Both simultaneously. The three year affair was one of the most cruel as he brought her home for a whole year over weekends under the guise that she could assist in our tea garden. She became a friend that brutally abused my trust.
The grand total: 13 affairs (12 people, one with the same person a few years apart) over a period of nearly 22 years of marriage.
Is there REALLY any hope for a change of lifestyle??? I'm feeling very angry, despondent and hopeless today...
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